so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
