I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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