You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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