I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
