Non-Jews are for practice
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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