Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So vagazzling was a success
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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