Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
