We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
