our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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