How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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