brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
