Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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