Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just gargled with NyQuil
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
