chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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