ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
