I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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