Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
