I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
