he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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