some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
