? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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