WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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