East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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