what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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