hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
