What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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