Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
