i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
