nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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