You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
