we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need to calm my uterus...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
