lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
