I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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