would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I am naked and annoyed.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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