Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
