The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
