Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
