Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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