Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
