I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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