He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
then he tried to convert me to islam
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
