She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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