I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
