OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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