Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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