at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
