Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
