it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My penis needs a shock collar
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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