Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
