Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
