just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
