3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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