Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize