He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
