someone threw a dead crab at me
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
