the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
