i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
