I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
