Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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