i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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