His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
party gras won. party gras always wins.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
